The Worst Sect of People | Los Angeles Review of Books

🌈 Abstract

The article is a review of Anna Marie Tendler's memoir "Men Have Called Her Crazy", which explores her struggles with mental health, relationships with men, and her creative journey.

🙋 Q&A

[01] Overview of the Memoir

1. What are the key themes and experiences covered in Tendler's memoir?

• Tendler's memoir grapples with two main narratives:
  • Her emotional recovery and journey of self-discovery
  • Her lifetime of mistreatment and problematic relationships with various men
• The memoir provides a comprehensive history of Tendler's negative romantic experiences and the ways men have "called her crazy" or treated her poorly.
• It also chronicles Tendler's creative pursuits and reinventions, from ballet to cosmetology to photography and art.

2. How does Tendler approach discussing her ex-husband, comedian John Mulaney?

• Tendler never refers to Mulaney by name and describes virtually nothing of their time together, only mentioning "my husband," "my marriage," and "my divorce" when necessary.
• This decisive choice to leave her high-profile ex-husband out of the memoir is unclear - it could be an act of vengeance, indifference, or due to a non-disparagement clause.

3. What is the significance of Tendler's beloved French bulldog Petunia in the memoir?

• Petunia is given more attention in the memoir than Tendler's ex-husband, with more "ink spilled" on the life and death of the dog she used to wheel around New York City.

[02] Tendler's Experiences with Men

1. How does Tendler describe her early romantic experiences and relationships with men?

• Tendler catalogs every slight and problematic experience with boyfriends and lovers in a careful, sometimes overexplanatory writing style.
• Her early romantic experiences were mostly negative, and she has a "photographic memory" for the ways men have asserted power over her and treated her poorly.
• She recounts a litany of problematic men, including a 29-year-old musician who had sex with her when she was 16, and an affable but clueless internet millionaire boyfriend.

2. How does Tendler's anger and revulsion towards men manifest during her psychiatric hospitalization?

• At the psychiatric hospital, Tendler's revulsion with men is so pronounced that she requests to stay in one of the all-female houses on campus, refusing to be around men.
• She expresses that she has "grown increasingly angry at men's mere existence" and does not even want to look at them.

3. How does Tendler's memoir address the role of psychology and male doctors in assessing women's mental health?

• Tendler argues that the field of psychology was developed by white men using white men as the baseline standard, and that male doctors struggle to see women as autonomous beings with complex inner lives.
• She takes issue with the doctors' interpretation of her anger towards men as actually being anger towards her mother or other maternal figures, asserting that her anger is directed at larger social structures like misogyny, patriarchy, and sexism.

[03] Tendler's Creative Journey and Personal Growth

1. How does the memoir highlight Tendler's diverse creative pursuits and successes?

• The memoir chronicles Tendler's various creative reinventions, including ballet, cosmetology, photography, makeup artistry, and creating ornate Victorian lampshades.
• Her creative leaps and subsequent successes, such as her fine art photography career, are highlighted as evidence of her multifaceted talents.

2. What is the significance of Tendler's post-divorce home renovation project?

• After her divorce, Tendler redecorates her Connecticut house in an obsessive, exquisite period detail, turning it into a "sort of haunted Victorian dollhouse" - a reflection of her maximalist emotional and visual style.

3. How does the memoir portray Tendler's personal growth and emotional recovery after her psychiatric hospitalization?

• After leaving the hospital, Tendler begins taking the haunting, witchy, and melancholy self-portraits she is now known for, using her decorated home as a backdrop.
• The memoir suggests that through therapy and writing, Tendler has engaged in an "honest conversation" with certain "darknesses" and emerged as a more "sturdy person" capable of dealing with overwhelming emotions.