The Last Rave

🌈 Abstract

The article is a personal narrative that explores the author's relationship with their partner Andrew, and how it unraveled during the COVID-19 pandemic and the 2020 protests against police brutality. It delves into themes of mental health, political activism, and the challenges of maintaining a relationship during turbulent times.

🙋 Q&A

[01] The Relationship and the Pandemic

1. What was the nature of the author's relationship with Andrew prior to the pandemic?

• The author and Andrew had been together for 3.5 years, living in a rented loft apartment in Bushwick, Brooklyn.
• They had a stable partnership within a larger social scene, with many of their friends living nearby.
• They had occasional fights, often about Andrew's cannabis habit and the author's frequent work travel, but usually made up quickly.
• In the past year, they had started discussing having a baby.

2. How did the pandemic impact their relationship?

• During the initial lockdowns, the author found Andrew becoming increasingly disengaged and withdrawn, neglecting household chores and responsibilities.
• The author tried to support Andrew and keep their routines going, but their arguments became more frequent and heated.
• By May, Andrew's behavior had become erratic, with him locking himself in his studio, refusing to help with chores, and making irrational plans like building a bicycle-powered golf cart.

3. What role did the protests against police brutality play in the deterioration of their relationship?

• The author became increasingly involved in covering the protests, while Andrew became hyperfocused on the tactics of the police, wanting to order protective gear.
• Andrew was arrested at a protest in the Bronx, which led to a violent confrontation with the police and exacerbated the tensions in their relationship.
• After this incident, Andrew's behavior became even more unstable, with him making accusations against the author and eventually kicking them out of their shared apartment.

[02] The Aftermath and Aftermath

1. How did the author cope with the end of the relationship?

• The author initially tried to maintain the relationship, even going back to the apartment, but eventually realized they needed to leave for their own safety.
• The author moved out, rented a storage unit, and tried to focus on work, including a reporting trip to Kenosha, Wisconsin.
• The author was left feeling isolated and unsure of whom to turn to, as many of their friends were out of town.

2. What happened to Andrew after the author moved out?

• The author learned that Andrew had been hospitalized in a psychiatric ward, and was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
• Andrew removed the author from his life, deleting them from social media and cutting off communication.
• The author eventually left New York City, driving a camper van to California, where they found solace in solitude and the natural landscape.

3. How did the author reflect on the relationship and their own role in its demise?

• The author grappled with feelings of culpability, as Andrew had used language like "abuse" and "toxic" to describe the relationship.
• The author questioned the integrity of their own political activism and journalism, as Andrew had accused them of using the protests for personal gain.
• Ultimately, the author decided to let go of the relationship and focus on rebuilding their own life, no longer seeking out information about Andrew.