My Child is Deeply Invested in a Particular Fandom. I’m Worried It Will Take Her Down a Harrowing Path.

🌈 Abstract

The article discusses a parent's concerns about their 7-year-old daughter's newfound obsession with wolves, as well as a separate issue with a 16-year-old stepdaughter who the parent feels is constantly picking fights.

🙋 Q&A

[01] Wolf Worries

1. What are the parent's concerns about their 7-year-old daughter's interest in wolves?

• The parent is worried that the daughter's interest in wolves could lead her to try to run off into the nearby forest to see them, which would be unsafe.
• The parent is currently having to watch the daughter constantly to prevent this, which is exhausting.

2. How does the columnist advise the parent to address this concern?

• The columnist suggests the parent should not raise the issue of the daughter running off, as that could give her the idea if she hasn't already thought of it.
• Instead, the columnist recommends the parent take the daughter into the forest to teach her how to navigate and respect the natural world, so she will be prepared if she ever explores it on her own.

[02] Stepmama Bird

1. What is the parent's situation with their 16-year-old stepdaughter?

• The parent took in the stepdaughter 4 years ago after a coach called CPS. The stepdaughter has been high-drama and messy to live with.
• The parent is now ready to have their own life and house to themselves, as the stepdaughter is about to go to college.

2. How does the columnist advise the parent to handle the stepdaughter moving out for college?

• The columnist acknowledges the parent's feelings of resentment are normal, and that the parent is not a terrible person for having them.
• The columnist recommends the parent have an honest conversation with the stepdaughter about the importance of her independence and the support available at college, rather than just gently laughing off the stepdaughter's comments about staying home.

[03] I Don't Want to Be a Yes-Man

1. What is the issue the parent is having with their 16-year-old daughter?

• The daughter gets upset and accuses the parent of always taking the other person's side whenever the parent tries to point out that not everyone will agree with the daughter's opinions.
• This leads to frequent arguments where the daughter yells at the parent.

2. How does the columnist advise the parent to handle these disagreements with the daughter?

• The columnist suggests the parent should just go along with everything the daughter says for a while, as the daughter seems to be looking for opportunities to feel aggrieved and argue.
• The columnist states that the parent should try to avoid getting into debates, as this will often just escalate the situation, and the daughter needs to learn that it's okay for people to have different opinions.

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