My Disinheritance Gave Me What I Actually Needed

🌈 Abstract

The article discusses the author's experience of being disinherited by her father, and how this event ultimately gave her a sense of security in her future and relationship.

🙋 Q&A

[01] My Disinheritance Gave Me What I Actually Needed

1. What led to the author being written out of her father's will?

• The author's father listed several perceived flaws in her, such as being a "drama queen", having a "problem with the truth", and being selfish, as evidenced by accepting financial gifts from him over the years.
• He wrote her out of his will, stating that if she continued to "tell these stories as truth and put them in your book", she would never receive any more money from him.
• He also demanded that she have no further contact with him, including not attending his funeral.

2. How did the author's relationship with her father shape her views on love and relationships?

• By the time the author was dating her partner Matthew, she had "mindlessly absorbed the lesson" that "love" was a financial exchange, where women provide affection, support and validation in exchange for money from men.
• She felt she had to keep up her end of this "bargain", and be prepared for any "punishment" a man might decide she deserved, including abandonment.

3. How did the author's perspective on her father change over time?

• Initially, the author did not fully believe her father's true nature, but after receiving additional letters from him calling her a liar, she realized she needed to believe him when he showed her who he was.
• The author now believes she will never speak to her father again, and reflects on Maya Angelou's observation that when someone shows you who they are, you should believe them the first time.

[02] Conclusion

The author's disinheritance, while painful, ultimately gave her a sense of security in her future and relationship, as she no longer felt beholden to her father's financial support or approval. This experience allowed her to gain a clearer understanding of her father's true character and her own self-worth, independent of his views.