Why So Many People Are Going “No Contact” with Their Parents

🌈 Abstract

The article explores the topic of family estrangement, particularly the experiences of a woman named Amy who grew up in an evangelical Christian household and later distanced herself from her family's beliefs and values as she went to college and law school. It discusses the broader societal trends around family estrangement, the stigma associated with it, and the emergence of support groups and online communities for those who have cut ties with their families.

🙋 Q&A

[01] Amy's Upbringing and Divergence from Family Beliefs

1. What was Amy's upbringing like?

• Amy was homeschooled by evangelical Christian parents in the suburbs of Alberta, Canada.
• She grew up believing in creationism and was taught that her non-Christian grandparents were going to hell.
• As a child, she struggled to hear God's voice like her peers claimed to, which made her question her faith.

2. How did Amy's views start to diverge from her family's as she went to college?

• At college, Amy became persuaded by the evidence for evolution in her textbooks, which conflicted with her creationist upbringing.
• She also grappled with the "problem of evil" and questioned how an all-powerful, all-knowing God could allow so much suffering.
• Amy began to identify as a feminist and support LGBTQ+ rights, which caused conflicts with her conservative Christian family.

[02] Amy's Relationship with Her Family

1. What was the turning point in Amy's relationship with her family?

• Amy's parents sent a letter to her university expressing displeasure about her "transformation" and concerns for her spiritual state.
• Learning about this letter was "destabilizing" for Amy and led her to visit her family less often.
• Over time, the topics Amy felt safe discussing with her family became smaller, and tensions grew around issues like politics and religion.

2. How did Amy's family estrangement ultimately unfold?

• Amy eventually went "no contact" with her family, cutting off communication entirely.
• This was a difficult decision, but Amy felt it was necessary for her own wellbeing and to find a "new sense of family" outside her biological relatives.
• The article suggests Amy's family estrangement is part of a broader societal trend, with more young people cutting ties with their families due to irreconcilable differences.