Be Sincere—Not Serious

🌈 Abstract

The article discusses the difference between seriousness and sincerity, and how adopting a sincere, playful approach to life's challenges can be more effective and enjoyable than a serious, rigid mindset. It explores the concepts of finite and infinite games, and how treating life as an infinite game can help cultivate a more positive and fulfilling outlook.

🙋 Q&A

[01] Seriousness vs. Sincerity

1. What is the key difference between seriousness and sincerity according to the article?

• Seriousness is characterized by a tight grip, tension, and a focus on winning or achieving a specific outcome. In contrast, sincerity involves a more playful, engaged, and process-oriented approach without attachment to the result.
• Seriousness precludes sincerity, as you cannot be serious and sincere at the same time. Being sincere rather than serious is often more effective and enjoyable.

2. How does the article suggest shifting from a serious to a sincere mindset?

• Start small in your personal life by tuning into when you feel a sense of seriousness and try to find the underlying enjoyment or levity.
• Consciously exaggerate the seriousness to the point of absurdity to shift your perspective.
• Regularly meditate on your own mortality (memento mori) to maintain a sense of perspective and avoid getting overly serious about things.

[02] Finite vs. Infinite Games

1. What is the distinction between finite and infinite games as described in the article?

• Finite games are played with the purpose of winning, have defined rules and boundaries, and announce winners and losers.
• Infinite games are played for the purpose of continuing the play, without a defined endpoint or winners/losers. They represent authentic interactions and experiences.

2. How does this distinction relate to seriousness and sincerity?

• Treating life as a finite game, where the goal is to "win," can easily lead to a serious, tense mindset.
• Viewing life as an infinite game, where the goal is simply to continue playing and enjoying the experience, lends itself to a more sincere, playful approach.
• Confusing an infinite game for a finite game can be a source of suffering, as the focus becomes on short-term rewards rather than long-term fulfillment.

[03] Applying Sincerity in Life

1. How does the article suggest applying sincerity in different areas of life?

• In work contexts, approaching a promotion or other goals as part of the infinite game of one's career, rather than a finite game to "win," can lead to more enjoyment and fulfillment.
• In romantic relationships, sincerity is more important than "winning" arguments, as the goal is the continuation of the relationship (the infinite game).
• In challenging situations like work meetings, adopting a sincere, playful attitude can help regulate everyone's nervous systems and find more effective solutions.

2. What are the benefits of cultivating sincerity according to the article?

• Sincerity can unlock better performance and achievement with less effort, as it avoids getting in one's own way through excessive seriousness.
• Sincerity makes it easier to adapt to changing circumstances and find creative solutions, rather than being constrained by rigid rules or expectations.
• Embracing sincerity and playfulness can make life's challenges more enjoyable and fulfilling, rather than a source of stress and suffering.