Don't ask me to embarrass myself.

🌈 Abstract

The article discusses the author's experiences and frustrations with company patent incentive programs, referral systems, and performance review processes. It highlights the disconnect between the promises made by companies and the actual outcomes, leading to feelings of being "lied to and cheated." The author also shares observations about the flaws in these systems and the impact on employee morale and career progression.

🙋 Q&A

[01] Experiences with Company Patent Incentive Programs

1. What were the author's experiences with the patent incentive program at Box?

• The author was employed at Box and they announced a patent incentive program, where engineers were encouraged to file for patents.
• The author ended up with their name on 5 patents, which they describe as "kind of bullshit" in hindsight, as the patents were not very substantial or useful.
• Despite the excitement around the program and the effort put in by the author, there were no rewards or recognition received, leaving the author feeling "lied to and cheated."

2. What were the author's thoughts on the patents they filed?

• The author describes the patents as "kind of bullshit" and explains that the descriptions make it obvious why they are not very substantial or useful.
• The author provides examples of the types of patents they filed, such as a way to redesign a website without changing the appearance, annotating the DOM with data attributes for analytics, and a clever way to create Retina-friendly CSS sprites.
• The author states that only two of the patents had any real use, but were still likely "bullshit" in nature.

[02] Experiences with Referral Systems

1. What were the author's experiences with referral systems at companies like Box, Uber, and Stripe?

• The author was expected to refer candidates at these companies, and some even had referral bonuses.
• The author referred many dozens, if not hundreds, of people they enjoyed working with in the past.
• However, the author's referrals rarely led to actual hires, with the candidates either languishing in the recruiting system or not even receiving a phone call.
• The author found this experience to be embarrassing and humiliating, as they had to explain to the referred candidates why their referrals did not result in any progress.

2. How did the author feel about the referral bonuses offered by these companies?

• The author states that the referral bonuses, which were often quite generous, felt like an "empty promise" when the referrals did not even get a phone call.
• The author felt that the criteria for the referral bonuses were not taken seriously, which had the opposite of the intended effect, making the bonuses feel less "juicy."

[03] Experiences with Performance Review Processes

1. What were the author's observations about the performance review and promotion processes at their previous employers?

• The author has been passed over for promotions despite receiving positive performance feedback, due to factors outside of their control, such as:
  • Being reorg-ed into a new team or department, nullifying the work they had been doing
  • Company priorities changing, making their previous work less important
  • A new manager taking over and not being able to advocate for the author's promotion
  • Being assigned a project that was a poor match for their skillset
• The author feels that the performance review process is often a "farcical promotion process" where the real criteria for promotion is "vibes and the professional relationship between EM and IC."

2. How does the author view the seriousness with which companies treat performance reviews?

• The author believes that companies do not treat performance reviews with the "grave seriousness that it deserves."
• The author suggests that companies should be more direct about the limited promotion opportunities and not try to "avoid hurting feelings by sugar coating the fact that you simply can't/won't give everyone who deserves it the uplevel they have been working towards."
• The author believes that this lack of seriousness in the performance review process implies that companies do not treat their employees' careers with seriousness, leading to employees feeling "cheated" and more likely to leave for other opportunities.