The Pneuma Illusion | Mary Gaitksill | Granta

🌈 Abstract

The article is a personal narrative exploring the author's experience with a type of physical therapy called "Pneuma" and the profound impact it had on her emotional and psychological well-being. It delves into the complexities of the therapy, the practitioners involved, and the author's journey of self-discovery and healing.

🙋 Q&A

[01] The Author's Initial Experience with Pneuma

1. What was the author's initial experience with Pneuma like? The author's initial experience with Pneuma was calming and grounding, making her very aware of her body. The practitioner, Linda, used a firm, still touch to hold various parts of the author's body for long periods, which led the author to enter a trance-like state. Over time, the author began to have flashes of awareness of a complex pattern living in her tissues and musculature, which felt both a part of her and independent.

2. How did the Pneuma sessions affect the author's response to social situations? After the Pneuma sessions, the author noticed a change in her response to social situations. When a gossipy acquaintance tried to engage the author in the usual drama, the author was no longer affected by it in the same way. The "poison" didn't get into her system, and she was able to respond more calmly and politely.

3. What were the author's mixed feelings about the Pneuma practitioner, Linda? The author had mixed feelings about Linda. While the Pneuma sessions were powerful and beneficial, Linda would sometimes say hurtful things to the author, such as suggesting she would have been a "terrible mother." The author was bewildered by Linda's blend of nurturing and cruelty, but she continued to work with her, believing the potential benefits outweighed the negatives.

[02] The Author's Experiences with Other Practitioners

1. How did the author's experiences with other Pneuma practitioners, like Sylvia, differ from her experience with Linda? Sylvia, the Pneuma practitioner the author later worked with, had a very different personality from Linda. Sylvia was more sentimental and mystical, filling her workspace with religious imagery and decorations. While the sessions with Sylvia had similar physical effects, the author found it harder to respect Sylvia's beliefs about things like the "intergalactic council" and "Pleiadians."

2. What was the author's experience like when she met with the founder of Pneuma, Jonathan? The author's sessions with Jonathan, the founder of Pneuma, were the most powerful of all. During these sessions, the author's body would have intense reactions, including the emergence of a "weird voice" that would make disturbing statements. Jonathan also made the author uncomfortable by expressing sympathy for a convicted child molester and sharing his own questionable experiences with young girls.

[03] The Author's Reflections on the Pneuma Experience

1. What did the author feel she gained from the Pneuma experience, despite its complexities? The author felt that the Pneuma experience, while confusing and at times disturbing, had helped her become less constricted by old patterns of being. She saw it as tapping into some kind of "sub-personal force" that the practitioners didn't fully understand, but which had a profound impact on her. The author was glad to have had the experience, even if she couldn't fully advocate for Pneuma.

2. What did the author make of the "weird voice" that emerged during the Pneuma sessions? The author came to see the "weird voice" that emerged during the Pneuma sessions as potentially the best thing to come out of the experience, even if no one understood it. She wondered if she should try to get to know this voice better, as it seemed to be connected to something important within her, even if it was difficult to define or judge.