My Coming Out Story

🌈 Abstract

The article is a personal narrative about the author's journey of self-discovery and coming out as gay. It describes the author's experiences during an Interrail trip in Europe, meeting a romantic partner in Rome, and the subsequent process of accepting and sharing their sexuality with family and friends.

🙋 Q&A

[01] The Interrail Trip and Meeting Tom

1. What was the author's motivation for the Interrail trip in 1984?

• The author wanted to widen their horizons, try new things, and demonstrate to their parents that they were no longer a child and could make their own decisions.
• The trip had nothing to do with the author's sexuality at the time, but they soon learned something else.

2. What happened when the author visited Rome during the Interrail trip?

• The author met an American named Tom at the same "Pensione" (guesthouse) they were staying at.
• The author and Tom felt an immediate attraction to each other, and they shared a romantic first kiss in a backyard in Rome.

[02] Discovering and Accepting Sexuality

1. How did the author feel about their sexuality after the experience in Rome?

• The author was ready to find a Danish boyfriend when they returned home, indicating they were starting to accept their sexuality.
• However, the author felt that something was wrong and limited their life, feeling like "half a person."

2. What steps did the author take to explore their sexuality further?

• The author visited the local library and found information about a gay and lesbian association, including details about their café nights and disco events.
• The author also decided to try a beginner ballet/jazz ballet class, hoping to meet other gay individuals.

3. How did the author eventually come out to their family?

• The author first told their twin sister, who reacted with surprise and distanced themselves from the author.
• The author then told their older brother, who reacted very negatively and told the author to leave.
• The author's grandmother was accepting and supportive when the author confided in her.
• The author's parents were informed later, when the author introduced another boyfriend, and they were accepting and welcoming.

[03] Ongoing Process of Coming Out

1. What does the author say about the ongoing process of coming out?

• The author states that "you don't come out just once as a homosexual" and that it happens in small stages, every time entering new social contexts.
• The author sometimes finds themselves "returning to the closet" and keeping their sexuality private, as they feel it's more about who they are than who they sleep with.
• Overall, the author encourages being honest with oneself and gradually coming out, as living in the closet is much more difficult.