My Awkward Issues With Pride

🌈 Abstract

The article discusses the author's experiences and perspectives as a pansexual, nonbinary individual within the LGBTQ+ community. It highlights issues of conformity, stereotyping, and exclusion that the author has faced, as well as their disillusionment with the lack of true inclusivity within the community.

🙋 Q&A

[01] The author's experiences and perspectives within the LGBTQ+ community

1. What are the key issues the author has faced within the LGBTQ+ community?

• Conformity and stereotyping: The author feels that if you don't conform to a particular queer stereotype, you face a lot of gatekeeping and questioning of your identity (e.g., "Are you sure you're trans?", "You only say you've slept with women because it's edgy").
• Exclusion and lack of acceptance: The author feels that the community is often more welcoming and supportive of those who fit certain stereotypical queer appearances and identities (e.g., "If you are a lesbian with a hard butch look, you'll be welcomed. If you're a Lavender-speaking gay guy with a slender frame, you'll be adored.").
• Discrimination against bisexual men and those who don't fit the "ideal" queer appearance: The author has experienced a lot of skepticism and dismissive attitudes from both straight and LGBTQ+ people for being bisexual and not conforming to certain physical stereotypes.

2. How has the author's experience with the LGBTQ+ community affected their involvement and pride in the community?

• The author has written off being a part of the LGBTQ+ community, as they have received more support from straight allies than from the LGBTQ+ community itself.
• The author is a "quiet queer" and doesn't participate in Pride events, as they don't feel accepted by the mainstream LGBTQ+ community.
• The author practices pride by being unapologetic and true to themselves in their day-to-day life, rather than through public displays of pride.

[02] The author's book and interactions with LGBTQ+ organizations

1. What was the author's experience in trying to promote their book supporting LGBTQ+ travelers?

• The author wrote a book to help support LGBTQ+ people traveling in an increasingly hostile America, but every LGBTQ+ nonprofit they approached turned their nose up at it, without any explanation.
• The author was shocked by the lack of support from the LGBTQ+ organizations, as they had thought the community would appreciate the book.
• The author even considered pulling the book off the shelves for a while, questioning the point of offering a guide if it's not supported by the very people it was written for.

2. How has this experience affected the author's willingness to work with the LGBTQ+ community?

• Since the writing of the book, the author has not been as involved in working with the LGBTQ+ community.
• The author will still fight for their own rights and the rights of their daughters' two dads, but they don't see the point in going out to Pride events or working with most LGBTQ+ organizations.