The Cost of Having Friends

🌈 Abstract

The article discusses the complex relationship between friends and money, and how it can impact personal relationships. It explores the various challenges and tensions that can arise when money is involved in friendships, such as jealousy, resentment, and the pressure to keep up with more well-off friends. The article also highlights the importance of open and honest communication about money within close friendships.

🙋 Q&A

[01] Friendship and Money

1. What are some of the challenges that can arise when money is involved in friendships?

• Money can bring up feelings of jealousy or resentment between friends
• Friends may feel pressure to keep up with their better-paid friends and spend money they don't have
• Friends may try to hide their success to avoid making others feel bad
• There can be curiosity and gossip around how friends are able to afford their lifestyles

2. How can friends' spending habits impact one another's finances?

• A survey found that 43% of Gen Z and millennials said they find themselves overspending to keep up with their more well-off friends
• The author recounts experiences of group dinners in her 20s where the birthday celebrant would expect their friends to pay for their dinner as well

3. How did the author's relationship with her friend Jen help avoid money-related tensions?

• The author and Jen had similar attitudes about money, which helped them find common ground
• Their shared preference for cheaper activities and experiences allowed the author to save money for other goals, like buying an apartment

4. How did the movie "Friends with Money" explore the impact of financial differences on friendships?

• The movie depicts four middle-aged friends, three of whom are wealthy, and one who is struggling financially
• The wealth gap between the friends creates awkwardness and raises questions about whether they would still be friends if they met today

5. What advice does the article offer for navigating money-related issues in friendships?

• Openness and honesty about money is essential for successful long-term friendships
• Communicating about financial differences and finding common ground is important, as demonstrated by the author's friends Aja and Aliza

[02] Maintaining Friendships as Adults

1. What challenges does the article highlight in maintaining friendships as an adult?

• It can be harder to form and maintain close friendships as an adult compared to college or younger years
• Social media and pop culture can create unrealistic expectations about the ease of maintaining lifelong friend groups

2. How did the author's experience with her friend Mari reflect the effort required to sustain adult friendships?

• Scheduling a dinner date with Mari was not easy due to their busy lives and responsibilities
• However, the author felt the time and money spent on the friend date was a worthwhile investment in their friendship

3. What is the author's overall message about the value of maintaining close friendships?

• The author believes that the hard work and sacrifice required to maintain close friendships is worthwhile, as it makes her life much fuller and more meaningful